The ME/CFS Ghost » 3 December 2014

Daily Archives: 3 December 2014

My First Gluten Free Christmas

Gluten Free Christmas

I went gluten free back in October and you can read about my reasons for doing that in Coeliac Disease, ME and me. I have actually had gluten free Christmases in the past, but I don’t remember anything about them and this is probably because I was cooking and able to make the changes very easily. This year however, I may be spending Christmas where others will be cooking and there are certain problems that arise with that scenario.

Early on, when I first became ill, I experienced a lot of guilt associated with being a burden on others or not being there for others and this is something I’ve mostly dealt with and come to terms with. But then today I felt a twinge of that guilt again, and it really took me by surprise. I know what a huge job cooking a lavish meal for a group of people is, and I realise it is because I don’t want to be ‘that person’ who makes the cook’s job even more difficult. This is totally ridiculous, of course. I can’t help that I have to eat gluten free, and if people still invite me when they know about my dietary requirements, then obviously they’re more than prepared to cook for me. Also, I’m known for always ending up in the kitchen wherever I go, so I can also help rustle up some gluten free alternatives.

I’ve been thinking about the different components of Christmas dinner and my main problems will be with sauces and if they’ve coated things like the roast potatoes in flour. It’ll also be a good idea to take some brand new wooden spoons and maybe a cutting board along, to avoid contamination.

The worst case scenario will be if they tell me something is gluten free, but it isn’t. It sounds like a mean thing to do, but the motivation for such a lie is usually the opposite. They want to avoid any awkwardness about the fact that you can’t eat something everyone else is. Seriously though, if someone just told me to avoid certain dishes, I wouldn’t feel bad and appreciate being told so much. There are a few people who don’t believe you have a real allergy, intolerance or dietary need and will just serve you something you specifically can’t eat. That is just not cool and can actually be very dangerous with people ending up in hospital.

Do you have any tips or advice for people like me facing their first gluten free Christmas?

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Socialising at Christmas: Things to Consider When You Have ME

Socialising at Christmas: Things to Consider When You Have ME

As I mentioned in my first post in this series, one of the things that most people love about this time of the year is spending time with friends and families. But that’s not always easy to do when you have a chronic illness like ME. Two years ago I decided to spend Christmas day alone, and that was the first time ever I had been alone at Christmas. I really wanted to do it as I just didn’t think I could physically handle Christmas that year. I’m glad I made that decision, but even then, I felt lonely on the day because I felt like I should be with my loved ones. Last year I was with my parents for Christmas and honestly, it was so difficult.

For many people going home for the holidays is something they really look forward to, but when you’re ill it can be so trying. I’ll use last my Christmas trip home as an example. I may live in central London, but my building and my street are very quiet and I spend a lot of time alone. I don’t watch television, so it’s not a constant noise in the background and I don’t spend much of my time talking or listening to others talking. For the first few days I was at my parents’ house, I was just overwhelmed with the noise. My dad has the television on from morning until night, and then everyone is talking to me and I could feel myself phasing out and just not tracking what was being said because it was too much. Also they live in a very busy area, so I could hear the neighbours and their kids. I remember after a couple of days I was just collapsed on the sofa.

Then there are the family dynamics that can be trying. I honestly want to spend as much time with each family member as I can while I am there and they all want to do the same with me. But when some family members are not talking to others or don’t want to be around other people, it really puts me in a difficult position. Eating Christmas dinner separately in two different rooms just makes me feel so horrible and anxious and defeats the whole purpose of spending Christmas with the family. I think this year I may make it a condition that unless everyone can be civil to each other, I’m not going to bother going, but that’s if I decide to go.

On a less personal note, if you happen to be working, there can be the temptation to join in with office drinks and Christmas parties. I was working in 2010 and I did go to the Christmas party, but I left long before everyone else did. Even though I was relatively well at that time, I was very aware of the fact that I’d have to pay for my exertions. The same goes for drinking alcohol; alcohol can have such a horrible effect on ME sufferers, that most of us abstain, but it can be easy to indulge at this time of the year.

What are the problems you have experienced socialising at Christmas?

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