Today I’m going to take you inside an ME relapse because I am currently in the midst of one. In a healthy person, if you over-do it one day, you’ll rest up and be back to normal within a day or two of sleep and rest. As I will show you here, not only will a day or two of rest not result in an improvement in energy levels, but the effects of the extra activity may not even show up in that time. Relapses are a common occurrence among ME sufferers and can be caused by infections, surgery or extra activity such as in my case this time.
So this is my normal routine, and if I stick to this, I can usually maintain the level of my health. Usually the most I have to include in this routine is a visit to the doctor’s surgery or grocery shopping, and I can overcome that activity within a few days.
- Wake up around 7-8am.
- Begin working 8am (research or writing on laptop)
- Stop working 4pm and begin wind down for the evening (take a shower)
- 5pm-7pm cook and eat dinner.
- Prepare for bed and rest lying down until I finally fall asleep – time varies depending on health and time of the year.
Events leading to this latest relapse:
This is the extra activity that has caused my latest health dramas.
- Thursday morning woke up usual time got ready and packed and travelled on the train for half an hour to my parents’ house.
- After 3hrs there, my friend came and picked me up. I spent the rest of the day with her and stayed at hers for the night. Healthwise things were already starting to go wrong; I’d spent the evening talking and sitting up until around 2am, and I barely slept that night.
- Friday morning woke up and had to return to my parents’ as my dad’s laptop had a problem and then had to see my cousin for lunch. By the time I made it to my cousin’s house, I could feel tremors running through my body. These are really visible when I pick up a glass to take a sip but my hands are shaking uncontrollably.
- After a late lunch, my cousin drove me home in the late afternoon.
I spent the next 2 days extremely fatigued, but not being able to sleep much and any activity brought on the tremors/shaking again. The best way I can describe these bouts is to say they feel like an adrenaline surge and then the come down from such a surge. But even though I did not feel great, I did not feel as bad as I can do after too much activity. The full relapse did not hit until about Wednesday which was almost a week after I over did it. This is when my whole body began to ache and the fatigue and sleep began to kick in. It’s now Monday, 8-9 days after my visit to my home town and I’m battered. In fact my health seems to be getting worse each day. I can’t put the blame for that entirely on my visit as I know even the tiniest bit of activity since then has been adding to the problem – like trying to walk on a broken leg without the aid of a plaster cast. However, when you work for yourself, you don’t really get sick days as there is always so much to do.
I have tried to reduce my activity where I can and everything seems to be taking me longer to do. I could have usually written this post in one third of the time it has taken me today, and even then it would be better written and have fewer typos. My flat is a mess, as I can’t justify using any energy to clean and tidy. The meals I’ve been cooking require the least amount of effort to make. In fact, this hasn’t been that difficult as during the first week after seeing my friend and family, I had little to no appetite.
The worst aspect of this whole relapse is I’m feeling rather down because I’m fed up of making the same stupid mistakes again and again. I experienced a similar relapse over Christmas and it took me months to get back to my old routine, yet, at the first hint of feeling better I go and blow up my health again. I should have known better. I have been ill for so long that I can’t even use the excuse that I do not know how the relapse game goes. But I miss my friends and family and spend so much time alone, stuck in my little shoebox flat that I fooled myself into thinking it wouldn’t be so bad this time and I was strong enough to be able to handle it. Lies, lies, lies! I can’t have fully recovered from Christmas to have been hit so hard this time. Of course, I’m sure the main reasons for my darker than usual mood is to do with the arrival of spring – the lighter the days get, the worse my mood does.