Scaring Myself Stupid!


Personal Blog


I love horror – movies, books, ghost stories, personal anecdotes. If it scares, I love it and I’ve been like that for most of my life. I’ve really wanted to have a writing outlet for that online but I’ve not had the energy or time to pursue it. Earlier this year, I decided that rather than wasting my precious health on writing projects I really had little passion for, I would focus on only those topics I was enthusiastic about. I started developing an idea for my own spooky website and I bought the domain name and started organising my collection of horror articles to publish on there. But as is inevitable with an illness like ME, I became ill over summer, and then my dog got ill and passed away in September. I had been hoping to launch the new site long before Halloween, but it soon became apparent that even a Halloween live date was not going to be at all practical.

Well, the last few weeks I’ve been working on building my new site, and it’s been really fun and I don’t think I’ve enjoyed myself in my writing in so long. But there has also been a really unexpected side effect – I’ve been scaring myself stupid! After years and years of watching, reading, listening to and even telling scary stories I really did not believe it was even remotely possible for me to be this spooked. At first I found myself thinking “Well, excellent, if I’m this spooked, hopefully others will be too” but then it changed to me actually feeling uncomfortable and worrying about if I could do the horror thing long term!

The thing is that I am really very good at totally suspending my disbelief. So when I’m researching ghost stories or the true events behind certain horror movies, my over-active imagination gets the better of me. This has always served me well when watching an hour and a half movie, or reading a book, but working long days every day for weeks like this has left me in an irrational state. This weekend was the absolute worst, because I was researching a really horrible story that was the basis of a 2012 horror movie. It actually serves me right for working over the weekend – I should know better than that. So I guess the answer is, yes I can do the horror thing, I’ve just got to make sure I remember to include non-horror activities!

Today I scurried back to the safety of the ME/CFS Ghost and you know what, I’ve had a brilliant day. It was more relaxed and I just read some of my old posts and planned how I want to progress into the future…but that’s a story for tomorrow!